While most human beings will engage in making some excuses in
their lives, the common Ben Franklin saying “He that is good for making
excuses is seldom good for anything else,” may be more of a
self-fulfilling prophesy for excuse-makers than simply avoidance or
laziness. Whether excuses are used to shift blame or improve what other
people think, it may be easier for excuse-makers to live with excuses
than think about living with having tried at something and failed.
Share
with us a time when someone has given you an excuse that you know was a
lie. How did you know that it wasn't the truth? What verbal/nonverbal
cues were there? How did it affect your perception of that person?
When I was in my freshman year of high school there was this girl that I used to be friends with that was a compulsive liar. This girl lied about everything but no one really caught on. I had her in my BCIS class and one day I heard her bragging about how she was going to be dancing in the Nutcracker Russian Moscow Ballet. Funny thing about that was I was actually performing in it, and had been for years now when they came into town for the holidays. I called her out on the spot and told her I had never seen her at the practices and she kind of panicked and said that she was going to be added in because the director thought she was really good. This girl was a soccer player. There was no way that she could do ballet and actually look good doing it. So when my next practice rolled around I asked my director and she said she had never even heard of her. I brought it up again in class and she told me that she had to quit because she was busy.....and everyone believed her....I hate her.
ReplyDeletehahaha wow victoria putting Brianna on BLAST!!! lol
DeleteI used to have a room mate who lied constantly. I could tell she was lying because she would get really choosy with how she said things, and her eyes would get shifty. The constant lying created some animosity because I felt like I had to always be on guard to her words and actions, and that made me feel as though I couldn't relax or be comfortable in my own house (territory).
ReplyDeleteThere are so many instances of this happening its hard to pick one, but I suppose a good one is was earlier this year for me. Met a girl, asked her out and so we went out. Over the course of the evening we talked about a lot of different things casually and a little personal. But the conversations got more deep it got more apparent on how some of her statements were fitting to what she had hoped would be my expectations and not what she really believed, maybe for the sake that I would like her(that would be my guess). It was pretty obvious through non verbal communication and her cues, especially the eye contact it was like reading a book. I suppose it did affect my perception of the person but not until sometime(few weeks/month) had past when i decided to stop turning my head the other way.
ReplyDeleteOne time my freind hooked up with my other freinds ex girl friend. He was trying to tell me he did it cause he was depressed but i knew it was a lie. he was just selfish and what he did was totally against "bro code". When he asked me if he should do it, isaid no. but for some reason i already knew he did. Then i found out iwas right and i lost all respect for him
ReplyDeleteBack in high school my best friend would always have an excuse not to hang out with me and our other friends late at night. She would say something like "Oh, my dad said no" or "I can't. I have chores." I knew that she was lying because every time she said that phrase she wouldn't make eye contact, she moved her shoulders a lot, and she was hesitant with her word choices. We all knew that she didn't want to go because it would be late at night or at a party with people she didn't know. She wasn't that kind of person. But my friend would always lie. It felt weird that she wouldn't just tell us, "Hey, I don't wanna go." It aggravated me that she didn't think high enough of her own friends to tell the truth.
ReplyDeleteI had received a random message from these girls on Facebook about my boyfriend not being true to me. they said that he was doing things behind my back with his ex-girlfriend and that i should confront him about it. i didn't believe it at first because i had asked him about it and he reassured me that that couldn't of been possible because we were together all the time. but then when i invited him over to my house to talk about it, he couldn't keep eye contact with me and was playing with his fingers and tapping his foot constantly. after seeing that, i knew that he was full of shit and ended that relationship real quick. he was caught cheating.
ReplyDeleteAt work we had this team member who was sent on a 30 minute break, but took a 90 minute break instead. While she was taking her break we had all called around to see if anyone has seen her. Then after her 90 minute break she reappears, and we ask her why she was late. her reply was that she lost track of time and that from the cafeteria on the way back to our area (which is a 5 minute walk at most) that she was stopped by all these curious guests with questions. First of all her excuse was terrible, second the way she chose her words and hesitated when speaking also helped concrete the lie.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame to think that a simple lie can alter a person's perception of you or someone else. A simple white lie, a minor detail, a huge cover up; there is such a beauty and vulnerability in truth that many fail to see. We tell white lies because we are afraid to hurt someone but what if it might actually make things better? You don't know if it will or not but it's a chance that some don't wish to take. How can you live on deceit even if it be the tiniest forms of it? You can't. Not with out lying to yourself first. Just some fruit for thought.
ReplyDeleteOne example of a lie that I grew to know far too well was told time and time again by my younger brother. He was that elementary school little boy that hated taking showers..GROSS! When asked by my mother he always said "...uhhh...yeah mom" not only did his hesitant speech and his wandering eyes give it away, but his environmental factors did too; his hair was not wet, face not clean, the shower was never turned on, etc.
He did, however, figure out the tricks to fabricating his lie. If he could not control himself from stuttering and not looking my mother straight in the eye he could at least control his environment. He would then go as far as too turn on the shower and wait in the bathroom until about ten minutes passed and when he came out he would have wet hair and a washed face...BUT no shower was actually taken..as if he could fool her. He took more time trying to figure out a convincing lie than it would have been to just actually shower. Needless to say, he showers daily now!
My mother. Any explanation she gives for any given situation is an excuse. Her main source of trivial knowledge is John Tesh, a man who's radio show serves no other purpose but to bring forth statistics to facts that should otherwise be deemed as common knowledge (more often than not with over-exaggeration) Nearly every other time things don't go according to plan or she clearly goes against what is expected, she brings up some stupid infro she got from Tesh's radio show to defend her actions.
ReplyDeleteSadly, yet honestly, growing up with her as my guardian, I've inevitably attained a similar trait. Which is why I am using her and my upbringing as a cheap alibi for why I'm staying up so late doing this blog last-minute and how poorly it answers the question given for this assignment.
I will now end this blog entry with a link to the most popular South Korean Music video known to man:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
After realizing that lies come from just about anywhere, it's hard to believe that what one person says is the complete and absolute truth... At work just recently our manager comfronted our department about a problem she just became aware of. Many emplyoyees have been seeking employment outside of our department in an effort to make more money. As she addressed the table, the manager refused to make any form of eye contact with those people she was trying to "Call Out". She promised pay raises and opportunities just as a politician would. Empty promises. Her inability to directly address the group professionally and in a straight forward manner showed that there was no truth behind her words, just a feeble attemt to keep us from leaving. In my oppinion itll always be difficult to believed that she is looking out in our best interests.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, people use their authority over others as an excuse to lie. Last night at Cheddar's, my manager caught one of my buddies and I sneaking some chicken tenders while we were working. Being caught eating food you did not pay for results in automatic firing. However, I am cool with all the managers so we just got chewed out. But what was soooooo ignorant about the situation was that I have seen this particular manager sneak too much food to count. I mean, come on now! One time, I even caught my manager sneaking leftover food from a plate he brought in the kitchen. Of course, I did not care as I strolled by, minding my own business. What made me kind of upset though, was that when he caught us eating, he was all "shame on y'all. Don't you have any integrity? I would never." you know he was lying to because he did not even look us in the eye. Ignorance at it's best ladies and gentlemen.
ReplyDeleteI have a close friend that tells little white lies all the time and he is pretty good at hiding it because he does it all the time. The only time we catch him is when he lies about something were at. like I was there one time and he was talking about his grade on his SAT and he told someone that he got a thousand points higher then what he actually got i knew he was lieing because I was there and we compared scores! It doesn't really change the way I feel about the person I just make it a game to try and catch him in a lie everytime I'm with him now. But he is really good at hiding it so I don't win the game very often but when I do I tell him he's a compulsive liar and then we just argue till he admits he just lied.
ReplyDeleteI have a roommate who thinks it is okay to use my things. I keep good order of all the things that I have from my clothes to my electronics. Way too often I’ll find something out of place from where I left it and the only explanation is that my roommate used whatever it is that was moved. When confronted, he always tries to avoid me, either walking off to the other room or all of a sudden something comes up that he needs to do right then and there. He begins to stutter and responds to every question I have with a “huh” or “uhh” which to me is a dead giveaway. With much persistence normally his lies start catching up with him and he begins to contradict himself. It’s at that point when he normally will confess that “ok dude I did use it but I put it right back”. I wouldn’t consider myself at all stingy with my things; I was taught how to share but was also taught to ask people to use their things before I just took them. The first few times it happened I didn’t think much of it and I let it go without much question. Recently though it has become quite out of control and gotten really annoying. I know he is lying, he knows I know he is lying, but yet he still feeds me excuses. It is hard to respect people that are unable to respect boundaries or personal property. Needless to say, my lease is up at the end of the month and I have never been more thrilled.
ReplyDeleteI came home and noticed that some of my clothes and things were missing. I knew exactly where they went. I asked my sister where they were but she said that she didn't have anything. I knew it was a lie cause my things stay in my room and she is the only person would possibly take them. Later that night I found them in her room. She never lets me in her room if she had my things in there. So I have to sneak in when she isn't there. One time I broke in but unscrewing her door. I love my sister but it get really annoying because she doesn't ask she just takes what she wants.
ReplyDeleteSo my sister thinks she so slick at times when she uses my things and puts them back, but im like a detective. I'm also like my dad i alwasy put my things back so i never lose them. So she always trys to pull a fast one and sneaks off with my stuff even though i know she takes them. We have this rule when we buy something if we plan to share it (let each other barrow it) the person who bought it has the right to wear it first and or if we plan to wear it and the person who bought it wants to wear it we have to let them. I've lived with her for 18 years i know when she lies and when she tries to twist them around. When i bought this really awesome badass purple tank top i was so excited to wear it out to my friends party, the problem was i couldn't find it. i left it in my dresser one day and the next day it was gone. I decided to persue her and she said she didnt take it. But while i was asking her she was picking at her shirt, stopped looking me in the eyes, her voice was changing, and she began to act really defensive. it wasn't until she left for school i saw her, caught her in the act of taking off her shirt in the car and my shirt was underneath. she saw me looking at her and her face was like a deer staring into headlights. Flat out busted.
ReplyDeleteI once had a roommate who wasn't necessarily a bad liar but from knowing him so long I was able to tell he was lying. Well the only reason I had agreed to take him in was because I was under the impression that his father had kicked him out and he was out of a job and therefore couldn't get a place. I was then felt burdened to have to take him in but did it only because he had agreed to pay me as soon as he got money. Well I was then forced to be his mother for I had to pick him up and drop him off at his girlfriend's and take him wherever he wanted(for jobs,to eat,to buy clothes all which I had to pay for!) and everyday I asked him if he had gotten money yet he said no. Well he eventually got a letter in the mail from his mother and after that day he had stopped being around the house always being at his girlfriends and started to get really distant when he was in my presence. I came home once and found his backpack upside down and open with a bunch of receipts and bank statements all adding up to 2K!! I was extremely angry and decided to confront him later to see if he had indeed lied. Sure enough I had asked if his mother had sent him money and he said no while shifting his eyes sided to side. He then rebutted my question with an accusation of going through his stuff and then stormed off into the next room. I realized he was never going to give me money or try to get a job,so I kicked him out.
ReplyDeleteBack in 2006 I showed my brother in law my new amp that I had just bought for my car. It was around 2:00 pm, and I had just gotten home from the store I bought it from. He and my sister were the only two people home, so I called him outside to driveway so that he could check out my new amp. After we had checked it out I went inside to room and took a nap. About a hour pass, and my brother came home, so I called him outside to check out my amp, but when I got to my car my amp was missing. I asked my sister, and she said she had no idea what I was talking about. I asked for her husband, but she said he was at the store. So I called his cell, but he never answered. He arrived home about a hour later, and when I asked him if he knew anything about my amp being missing, or if he seen anyone near my car. Then surprisingly he got all upset at me for even asking him, and started yelling, how could I even think it was him. I knew he was guilty because I never accused him for stealing my property, and immediately he went into defense mode. Second, he never made eye contact with me the entire time he was yelling about the situation. Thirdly, my car had no evidence of someone breaking in. Now from to this day I don't speak to him. He lost my trust. After that incident my perception of him is a that he is a liar and thief.
ReplyDeleteSo there I was helping out my girlfriend at her house watching kids. She had to be in the kitchen for a while so I took her place and was stuck watching the toddlers. I went into this deal knowing that there were two girls that always seemed to cause a ruckus every 10 minutes. We'll call them Abby and Marie. Abby had long black hair and was three. Marie was the one with curly hair and was three also. This was a house full of women and one father that was always away working, so my efforts to establish authority would be shot down no matter what, especially by these girls. After exactly 10 minutes of being in the play room a peculiar smell rose in the air and my God was it horrible. It was more than obvious that one of these kids had pooped so I immediately interagated all of them. First up was Abby.
ReplyDelete"Abby did you poop?" I asked. "No! I no poop! Marie pooped!" she yelled insanely. Marie took on a sad face and started crying all the while saying, "No I didn't!" and ran off into the next room like a crazy woman. Abby was still there right in front of me and I could smell that smell stronger than ever. I finally looked at her and said, "It was you wasn't it Abby? Did you lie?" She started pouting and getting red until she finally blared out, "Yes I pooped!" Luckily my girlfriend walked in and changed her to spare me from the horror.
Though she did lie about it, she was just a baby, and a girl, so I gave her a second chance. But of course the same story would play out about a week later, and a few other times after that. I don't think any different of her but I will be sure to remind her of these instances when she grows up.
Last week i wanted to go out and have lunch with a friend after class but since both of my parents work and i have 3 younger sibilings i have to be back at least by 3pm to pick them up from the bus stop. well i noticed i was going to be a little late because class ended at 2 so i only had an hour to get lunch and that wasnt going to be enough time because i still needed to pick up my wallet i had left at home, so i called my older brother to tell him that i needed him to pick up our sisters , so as i was driving to meet my friend for lunch i see him heading home in his car and when i call him his response was "i cant pick them up im far from home and i wont be back by 3 either." So i said to him "i JUST saw your car heading home" and he goes "oh well in that case i just dont feel like picking them up from the bus stop". It made me angry because he could have just told me that instead of giving me a lame excuse. since he is my brother my perception of him didnt change but i just got angry with him.
ReplyDeleteIt's always so disappointing when you discover that a 'friend' has been lying or pretending to be something they're not. It took me a long time to figure out that this person had never been interested in being my friend. I was her first friend when she moved to Texas. I knew what it was like having to be uprooted from your home and placed somewhere completely foreign; having to make new friends and fabricate a new life. I opened myself up to her, which was difficult for me because I'm not the outgoing type; but having been in that situation a many of time, it felt good to help her. She found her place eventually and pushed me to the side. She would make excuses about being busy when I knew she just didn't care. Her smile to me never touched her eyes, I know a genuine smile when I see one. I tried to keep up with her after we graduated but that was when it became evident that she had no interest, so I gave up and moved on. Why waste your energy on someone who doesn't put the same effort towards you? It sucks being lied to, especially for an extended period of time. I felt like a fool for caring. Now I know who my real friends are, so it was a great lesson for me.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend or a used to be friend who blew me off for his girlfriend. I knew he was lying from his facial expression and just how he said it after that i couldnt f with him after that because i dont hangout with fake people.
ReplyDeleteTo be realistic in my opinion we have all been lied and have lied to other, if is just a joke or lie either way you're not completely being honest therefore if you are hiding something from a very close friend or stranger I believe that makes us a liar. However there are some people that are compulsive liars and thats the way they are. If they decide to live a lie then let them be fake because they know inside what's the reality and what's true about all the stuff that come out of their mouth which in their case 90% of the stories they make up are straight "BS"
ReplyDeleteThrough out my high schools years I was part of the schools perfomance team, when I finally had the chance to be one of the captains we where in charge of making sure the girls would show up to practice, to the performances and to class. There where so many times were they lied to us about why they hadn't showed up. TOO MANY! Gaby and me always knew when the girls were lying, by just the way they would react when we would ask them. Their nerves and confusion of excuse would always give it away. But I remember this one girl who didn't show up for none of the days during summer, which were the most importnant because we would prepare the team as a whole for when the season would start. So she would have a different excuse for not showing up, of course we started to take her less in consideration by knowing we couldn't count on her and not including her in the performances. Eventually due to her lies and nondedication towards her team she was kicked out.
ReplyDeleteI have this Bestfriend who've ive grown exteremly close to since freshman year. I would spend a lot of my time with her family and would often house me when I was having family problems and didn't want to be home. My friends mother and partner have done a lot for me over the past 4 years. But sadly, me friend and I went through a rough patch where we didn't get along and hang out much anymore. So in an attempt to mend our broken friendship, I invited her over to my house for my 18th birthday. I let her stay with me for the night like old times. However this particular occasion was different. I left all of my birthday money on my counter in my room, trusting my family and "Bestfriend" of course. I hasn't payed much attention to the stack of money displayed on my counter because in my mind,'nothing was going to happen to it. The next day we wake up, hang out for the day until she has to leave. Before she goes, she says she left something in my room, trusting her, I let her go alone into my room and get whatever is was that she "forgot". She left my house normally, with no suspicion at all. I go back up to my room and look at my counter, only to see that my stack of money was cut in half. I thought it was extremely odd seeing as how no one had been in my room but me and my "friend". My family and I are extremely close and would NEVER steal from one another. When I asked my friend about the missing money, she denied any chance of it being her and suggested that maybe my brothers took it. This idea was ridiculous. It's very obvious that my friend lied about stealing money from me, but I let it go because of how much her family had done for me over the years. However, I don't exactly trust my friend anymore.
ReplyDeleteAll girls who have sisters should be familiar with this one. When your sister borrows your clothes and come to find them in their room when you really want to wear the item. Confronting my sister is outragious! I ask her for the item before snatching it back and she sits there getting all bent out of shape because she doesn't have my "stupid" clothes. Everytime she just starts yelling and the rolling of the eyes occur I know shes lying to me.
ReplyDelete