Interpersonal Communication?

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls... I can honestly say that I still don't have the foggiest idea what it all means. If I were to ask someone in class; Hey you.. what color was your turd ? Cuz I know you just came from the bathroom. Thats sounds like a pretty personal question. I could go a step further and say its even an intra-personal question cuz I am asking what was actually inside the person just moments ago. no? I encourage all of you to laugh at yourselves the way I do at myself. I am always giggling and never too serious, because I guess I have been shot at in war, I have been run over by an 18 wheeler, patted on the back by Zetas while they kicked my buddies Butt, I dash into burning buildings for a living...I am lucky to be alive, and so should all of you.Treat every day as a gift from God and if I never see a one of you again, I wanna wish U all a Happy Holla Day this Season. I just had to say that before the World ended, cuz you never know?

who doesnt relate to getting pulled over by Johnny Law?

I have done everything throughout my driving experience to aid and assist drivers that I have seen pulled over and in distress, but that never gets noted when a cop pulls one over and tha law decides that you are the one that is getting a ticket or is going down because you dont have the interpersonal skills to get out of this one. Dont get me wrong, I have gotten outta of about two hundred tickets, but this one cop had it in for me. I declare from this day forward, I am not giving it a second thought for assisting a single person in a jam. Period!

If I could fake it anymore than I already am,I would be on a moviescreen

Sorry guys and gals for tha layoff from tha blog but alas, Duty calls... OMG, who the heck isn't out there faking it to some extent? Do tall girls really expect no one to notice that they are wearing flats to a gala with the 5 ft 2 in date? The guys have to admit that they gotta mention that they are either headed to go work out or they just left working out,but then on the other end of the spectrum there are those guys who will state that they are on their way to do some computer programming on the other end of campus. I love the whole aspect of people watching and watching them fake it. It makes me better at it as well. Have I ever walked into a fire and thought that I wasn't a little bit more cautious after seeing a fellow firefighter forget his earcovers on his helmet and watching his ear catch fire during a flashpoint in a fire excercise. All the guys at his station now call him coffee cup handle in Spainish. When am I faking it the most; easy! October! That is typically Fire Prevention Month for the Nation and The Local fire Stations go around to the the elementary schools to show the Kids the Fire Truck and The Fire Prevention guys/gals show the kids how to Stop,Drop, and Roll and so forth but always the Highlight and Finally of the show is when Sparky comes out from the Fire Truck and waves to all the little kids; and unfortunate for me, I have been delegated to being Sparky at my Station because the other Firefighter got too big for the outfit. I am always told that Sparky never talks from the Fire Prevention crew,but its hard to be quiet when the kids are trying to pull Sparkys head off or kick him where it counts, I have even been punched down there. They always try to pull off Sparkys long gloves with paws at the end which I am supposed to wave to wave goodbye to all the nice children; which really they arent, but ey! We all gotta fake it!!! Even if it hurts.

Glory never dies

After watching this video and trying it, I honestly noticed no out come. But I believe that is because I am already a very confident person, I lead all most every thing I'm in volved in and I also act so understanding body language is very important to me.
I also am a Red Cross first responder, so when it comes to dealing with high level stress, I have already taken many classes on how to stay focused and on the ball in very stressful, life and death situations. So all of that ties in over a time.
I think her imformation is very helpful for those who lack self confidence, but for those who already have it, it's merely a good reminder of how to stay on top of the world.

Can You Fake It 'Til You Make It?- Blog 11 Due Nov 26th

Good communication is the foundation of successful relationships, both personal and professional. But we communicate with much more than words. Most of the messages we send other people are nonverbal. Nonverbal communication includes our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and tone of voice. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships. Research has shown that we can actually change our brains by our nonverbals.

Watch the Following TED Video on the Power of Nonverbals

 

Nonverbal Podcast by Amy Cuddy

 

This weekend, purposely change your nonverbals for 2 minutes (positively or negatively) as demonstrated in the above video and blog about the results.

im a bad bad putty cat.....Apparently?

After taking the quiz, I scored a 5. I didnt think it was that bad until the quiz informed me that I show signs of being abusive. I never have struck a woman in anger but I do acknowledge that I at times can be dismissive of my girlfriends opinions and absolutely scare every single person that gets in a car with me. After that question, I have to say that it was a loaded question; some people genuinely are bad drivers, and I admit that I am one of them. I must admit proudly though that I am not one of those guys that looks into a womans phone or into their computer to get dirt on them or to just be nosey. I do believe that you are more respected when the other person comes clean about anything they are involved in. As to why violence is up in dating relationships is beyond me? I would like to think that it isnt but according to the statistics; Apparently, it is up. I think if more people took time to set aside time for their significant other then alot of problems would resolve themselves. I see alot of violence in my job and from what I see, over half is alcohol related. I know that I need to be a better listener...

The tempo we live in

I think the rise of the violence in young adults is due to the tempo of our generation. We are in an insanely fast past moving world, and she just keeps spinning faster. With technology and the access to information it will drive any normal person crazy. So those who are boarder-line crazy as it is, are likely to go over board, because they will feel pressured and out of control. That is my belief.

Even 50 years ago, even though that was during the Vietnam war, people didn't have the same access to the rest of the world we have now. news could come with in 24 hours over the radio, images and footage would take up to a few days. As now we saw the impact of Sandy with in seconds of her hitting land. We saw Japan, the revolution in Libya and we even hear about who is hooking up with who, the neighbor shot in cold blood down the street. Our minds were not designed to take all of this information in at once with out feeling emotion and being over whiled. After a while people start to shut off there humanity and emotion towards all of the news.

Also with the new medias we as the children of this generations, have been raised with bloody video games, TV and movie dramas. We have seen footage of car rec's and other traumatic events. Since most of us have been introduced to these things from a young age, we have numbed out and quickly accepted violence as part of our culture.

Think back to when y'all were about 13-16 years old. What was a big event that had currently happened? Something that still makes you feel a strong emotion? Reason why I pick that age, is because that is the huge turning point from child to adolescents and between those ages, that's when you start to realize how big the world really is, but you still have the heart of a child and you think you can typically fix and concur the world. at that age.  For me It was Hurricane Katrina, I thought I could make a difference, I tried to make a fundraiser and all of that jazz... to young to realize I wasn't much help, but old enough to see this was a disaster.

So I think all is due to the speed of our world and understanding of every thing. We have all been forced to grow up faster than generations before us. We have been told by our parents to never walk alone down a street, because there are always bad guys, And I think that's where some people go wrong, they become afraid of  not being the ones with power, the ones in control, the ones who have made a name from them selves. So I believe many teens choice the path of violence because it makes them in charge, and its easier than making a name for your self though failures and successes, it is also quicker.

For relationships, Its seen on the internet, news and even in life, It has become so easy for abuse to brake out, no one even bats an eye until it gets bad. So it has also become an easy way to not lose some one, but also not work on your own problems. Since no one questions, it has just been blown out of proportion. There are so many things in our fast world, not many people have taken the time to focus on these problems when there is much bigger issues to battle with. 

Maybe It's Me? Blog # 10 Due Mon 11/19

  Love is Not Abuse, a program of our founding sponsor Liz Claiborne, has revealed the findings of their recent study of dating abuse among college students. The results? Dating violence and abuse among college students is more prevalent on college campuses than previously believed.

According to the findings, a significant number of college women are victims of dating violence.

• 43% of dating college women report experiencing abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, tech, verbal or controlling abuse.
• Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women say they have been in an abusive dating relationship.
• More than half (57%) of college students who report experiencing dating violence said it occurred in college.

Young adult dating violence is a big problem, affecting youth in every community across the nation.

• Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
• One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
• One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
• Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence -- almost triple the national average.
• Violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and 18
• Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
• Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape, attempt suicide compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys. 

While many of the controlling behaviors overlap between high school and college students, other behaviors are specific to college students. For example, 11% of respondents were prevented from going to study groups, 8% were told whether to live on or off campus and 7% were told exactly which classes to take.

While many of us know that abuse is wrong, how many of us may be doing it and not even realizing that our actions are borderline abusive?  Take the "Am I a good partner?" quiz and find out if maybe you're the problem in your relationships.  The quiz is from the Loveisrespect.org website that also has a lot of great information on how to tell is a relationship is abusive or healthy, and resources on improving your communication.

Am I a good partner? Quiz

Blog why you think dating violence among young adults is on the rise.  

Love the language of the heart

This test seemed very strait forward, I could pick out mine before I took the test. I am quality time and physical touch. Which I guess kinda fits with all of the other stuff I fall into now. Like Eros/agape and explore and all of that jazz.
I wonder how much these languages change over the years, do certain ones disapere or do they change in the person over time?

What's Your Language? Blog 9 Due 11/12

With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages has helped couples at every stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships.  After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.  Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Since The 5 Love Languages^® debuted in 1992, over seven million copies have been sold, making The 5 Love Languages^® a perennial New York Times bestseller.
1) Find out what Love Language you speak at : Love Language Test
2) Blog about what Love Language you speak and share with us an example of either how you showed someone you loved them using your "Love Language" or how you knew that someone cared about you by what they said or did through their "Love Language".

 

RE: Cheater, Cheater, Hobbit Queefer

This is a late response to the previous blog. I didn't have work yesterday and After class I did nothing but waste my life on Facebook and watch Lord of the Rings. So yeah. My bad. I take full responsibility for not blogging yesterday/last night.

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY..

The reason for cheating depends on the person. If they're notorious for being a complete bitch, then chances are they didn't cheat because of their attractiveness or sexual desire. They did so to boost their own ego or try to stir up drama cuz the relationship's too boring without conflict. But for most everyone else, Sexual desire is probably the biggest. Sense of entitlement could come into play too. As my drummer pointed out to me, girls don't have penises. And everyone should have one. So as a male human being, it's only common courtesy to share our penises with those who have an emptiness in its place.

As with pretty much everything else, our decisions are more often than not mentally and chemically engraved in us.

cheating; whats the difference with networking?

All thing being equal, I have had many many animated conversations with either my spouse at the time or a girlfriend or my wife to be.. People wanna define everything in our World. Seriously, I have seen woman called Hoes for being bubbly and outgoing, and I have heard men called scoundrels for asking a waitress what she recommended on the menu in a brief moment of down to earth reality... However, just as the saying in the housing market: Location,Location,Location.. I to feel its about Opportunity,Opportunity,Opportunity....just as chemistry happens like lightening in a bottle at times, so to can someone click with us on a personal level even if its for a brief moment in passing. It typically wouldnt mean diddley to a man or woman if their significant other was present,but you take that same individual and place stressors on them like those on the reality show, TEMPTATION ISLAND, and half my classmates or more would be coming back to the mainland either single or with someone different all together. Peoples experiences in their life gives them a full cup of reality and todays generational twenty year olds are far more knowledgeable than I weas at their age. I commend them all and hope only with experience and a sense of moral empathy they can realize that relationships are built, they dont start as lasting as we see in Sundays Newspaper Announcements of fifty and more years being married without someone saying "Sorry" first.

it should be put under a big bomb and blown up forever.

Cheating is the saddest thing ever... I can't even watch it in movies with out getting up set, so this is a hard question for me to ponder. Not because I'm worried of it happening to me, but because I don't even know why anyone would even consider cheating, its so sad and devastating.
I guess out of the choices given I would have to go with the Risk taking over the rest, that's the only one that would make any since, Because the rest of the choices you would thing that if some one was attracted to some one else, they would call off the relationship and be honest before stabbing in the back.  and Opportunity seems like if you were having other feelings, you would either try harder to pull your loved one into your life or call it off cleanly and start anew. Then with sexual desire, that's where communication would have to play its role, and you would talk about it to figure out what is best for yall to move forward. Then with love styles, that isn't an excuse to cheat, do you love the person, yes or no? Now act upon your answer... yes or no? If there is a relationship problem, cheating is going to make it worse, put more bodies in your closet and make you feel worse than you already do, so you either need to fix what ever is wrong or move on. And finally a sense of  Entitlement doesn't even exist. You have no more right over your partner, than he/she has over you. if you are in a relationship, than you are equal. If you think you have a right over your lover, you are no better than a slave owner. Who sleeps around with his wife and property. And if you believe that's alright, go hang your self or become a monk because you don't deserve love from any human.

All righty, sorry for my little bashful rant, now on to why I think the risk factor is the only possible reason cheating should happen.

Some people love walking on the line, a close family friend of mine used to cut her self to see how many times she could do it to hurt those around her and to see how long her close friend would keep it a secret. It was so dumb, but as she explained it, it was exciting and made her feel  alive(adrenaline junky), and once she got caught she would start hiding objects, going farther than she should with guys, try drugs, all because she liked to keep secrets she said, it made her feel powerful and like she was walking on the edge. So that's sort of like cheating and I think that some people think they are the ones in control when they hold the power of there actions, choices and secrets.

Its sad really though, there are so many other ways to be in control and to hold power. And cheating is massively wrong... it should be put under a big bomb and blown up forever. :) then every thing would be much nicer.

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater- Blog 8

Like most of our behaviors, infidelity is not intentional, but, for the most part, it is situationally driven.

When placed in the right situation (or wrong situation, in this case), our emotions can prompt us to act in ways which are counter to our beliefs. Please note that some of the factors listed below are drawn from Buss and Shackelford's work on infidelity.

What high risk factors influence an individual's willingness to cheat?

Attractiveness

All things being equal, an individual’s attractiveness influences how likely he or she is to cheat. Attraction comes in many different forms – it is influenced by one’s physical appearance, one’s social skills, and one’s tangible resources (money). The more one is in demand, the more likely one is to cheat. People, who have higher incomes, more education, and successful careers, are more likely to cheat than people who are less successful. And physical attractiveness also plays an important role.

Opportunity

Again, all things being equal, the more individual free time people have the more likely they are to cheat. Couples who have separate social lives, friends, careers, travel plans, and so on are much more likely to cheat than couples who spend most of their time together. The more opportunity people have to cheat, the greater the odds that cheating will occur.

Risk Taking

People who like to take risks or have a sense of adventure are more likely to cheat than people who are more fearful or timid by nature. And there is most likely a genetic component involved in risk-taking behavior - some people may be predisposed to taking risks.

Sexual Desire

Sexual desire varies from person to person. Some people have a very high sex drive while other people are much less concerned or interested in sex. And people with a high, rather than low, sex drive are more likely to cheat. Again, sexual desire appears to be influenced by genetic factors. Some people are inherently more easily aroused and driven by their desire for sex than other people. People who have multiple affairs are often addicted to the novelty and excitement which infidelity can provide.  Men, more so than women, also tend to have a higher sex drive and are more likely to cheat.

Attitude Toward Love and Romance/Attachment and Love Styles

Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner (ludus). People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's spouse. Also, people with a dismissive style of attachment, are more likely to cheat.

Relational Problems

As problems emerge in a relationship, people are more likely to cheat. Infidelity is more common in relationships where people feel misunderstood, under appreciated and where fighting and bickering is common.

Sense of Entitlement

Some people, due to their position in society, their beliefs about gender roles, or their cultural upbringing, believe that it is their right to cheat on their partners. In other words, some people believe that cheating is a privilege to which they are entitled. Such individuals, philanders, often engage in infidelity with little guilt or remorse.

Which of the 7 risk factors do you think has the largest influence on whether someone cheats and the increase in infidelity among young people today?  Why?  And what can one do to "cheat proof" their relationship?