Break-ups....like medicine,its horrible to swallow

I guess because throughout my middle and high school yrs I never dated let alone have a gurlfriend, Haaa!!! what a laugh!! I remember feeling so gruesome an ugly that I knew I couldn't get any; even in a brothel with a fist full of fifties. wife#1 comes along while I am in the Service and wants a career man in the military,but I was tired of saying,"yes Sir" to everyone in the sevice who wanted to send me off to some conflict or dissaster half way around the world. She threatened to leave me if I left the military..So I left. I wanna say that I began to feel not so monsterous shortly after joining the fire dept but reality hit when the other cadets also mentioned that every available female in town was coming onto them like a freakin tramp. Of course, with a firefighter they knew they could just be stay at home wives. I never have known what I could bring to a relationship except canned stupidity and the ability to drool on a pillow with regularity,but I did marry#2 and in my haste to please her... I lost myself. There absolutely must be comprimise in a relationship or it will never work.If someone takes all your m&m's long enough in the relationship eventually you will realize that if you were not allergic to chocolate then you might actually have had a problem with what they were doing? Allowing someone to dole out affection to another is almost a form of imprisonment,because that person is robbing them of their destiny of true love. So now,despite knowing I am not an Ogre..I always feel like one when I break up with a gurl. This girl I dated about a year ago was tremendously disfigured in her lower extremities to the point where she needed crutches all the time just to walk around anywhere. I was nice enough to help her whenever I saw her out and I would take the newspaper to her door for her because I couldnt bare to see her walk outside and struggle to get the dam paper. One day she asked me out and I could never turn down a girl who has the courage to ask a guy out, so I said," Sure". She mentioned that she did her laundry at the laundrymat and had trouble getting ready because she was running late to get ready for our date. I was shocked. So I had my plumber buddy go over and install washer/dryer connections outside her house so she didnt have to go anywhere. Eventually, I heard through the neighborhood kids that she had told all the neighbors that we were involved. I let it continue and never mentioned it to her because I realized she appreciated what i was doing for her and she had gained a bit of pride with my attention to her quality of life.However, I also have a son who requires a great deal of attention and when I didnt take her for an engagement she had made plans to attend with myself as a result of my sons school engagement which took presidence. I show up the next day to get her routine list of groceries that I get for her and she throws a pot at me and screams at me to get out. I had to say this because it needed to be told to her," You move like molasses downhill! I have spent more time assisting you than I do my own grandmother, and the truth is that you are going to just fall down one day and by the time you realize it, your going to be on a table with the surgery team in the next room prepping to cut one if not both your legs off." Y did I say those horrible things you ask?.....because I cared enough about her to say them to her. Now we are just friends and she is attempting to lose weight to have knee surgery because she needs to meet the surgical criteria to be a good candidate for the surgery an with me doing all those things before like going for groceries and accomodating her handicap, I was holding her back....from her destiny.